


Out of Touch

by gothic_burrito



Series: College Professor AU [1]
Category: La Passe-Miroir | The Mirror Visitor - Christelle Dabos
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Jealousy, Just a whole lot of feelings, Thorn the Simp, and confusion, heart felt conversation, kinda hurt/comfort, two married idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:26:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29279157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothic_burrito/pseuds/gothic_burrito
Summary: Thorn finds Ophelia chatting with a new colleague and insecurities take the best of him. But Ophelia is there to reassure him. ;)
Relationships: Ophélie/Thorn (La Passe-Miroir)
Series: College Professor AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158116
Comments: 12
Kudos: 23





	Out of Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Listen peeps… it’s gone 4am, I’m in my feels and this needs to be written! This is gonna get really personal for a second but I’m in love with one (1) intelligent, strong, beautiful woman and I need to vent in one way or another so I’m pouring my feelings for her into this smol fic. So enjoy my own suffering, brought to you through the veil of angsty/fluffy Thorn/Ophelia content. And the beauty of it all is that you will never know where my own feelings start and what is just Thorn being a simp.
> 
> Also, YES I’m introducing ANOTHER AU instead of finishing the other one. This is hella impulsive ok? I know damn well how stupid this is and I apologize for the delay on the other AU, I promise it’s almost done. But I can’t keep working on it with this idea sitting in the back of my head! This is probably just gonna be a one-chapter thing since it doesn’t really need a lot of setting up and it’s really just my way of getting rid of pent-up feels because damn Covid and this fucking blizzard are keeping me away from everyone!
> 
> Bonus: that OC is a big fat easter egg for everyone who knows me from my Witcher fics 😂(Cait… I’m looking at you if you find the time to read this O.o) and my fake last name for Thorn and Berenilde is back… I’m just gonna keep using it whenever a last name is necessary. Makes no sense to think of a new name for every new AU.

Thorn snapped his briefcase shut and stifled a groan. Monday mornings were truly the devil. All the students were still half asleep from the weekend before and the only real participation he got in his classes were stupid questions from students who hadn’t paid enough attention to understand his words the first time. He would never be able to fully understand why they all insisted on acting like the start of a new work week came so unexpectedly. Straightening his tie for the twelfth time that hour, he checked the time and made his way back to the staff room.

Usually, he resented being cooped up with the other staff members but he knew that Ophelia enjoyed the chatter so he joined her whenever he had the time. His next lecture was scheduled after lunch so he had a solid two hours until he had to leave for that.

The tall blond gripped his briefcase a touch harder when he passed a group of noisy students. None of which bothered to greet him. They probably knew who he was. He had a reputation of being the strict, unforgiving mathematics professor and he was ok with that. He didn’t need to be liked by them. He didn’t need their approval. He needed no one’s approval. Well no, that wasn’t quite right. There was one person. His wife’s opinion of him was possibly the most valuable thing in the entire world for him. But he would have never admitted that to anyone, not even her.

A mild headache had started to manifest itself during his previous lecture so he was looking forward to whisking Ophelia away from the others for a coffee at the cafeteria. Alone time with his wife was like recharging his battery. They didn’t even need to talk or touch. Just being in the same room helped refocus him and fend off the tiredness and exhaustion.

“No Ben, you’re not listening! I just told you about this.”

Thorn would have recognized that voice anywhere. But he couldn’t figure out who she was talking to. None of their colleagues’ names were Ben. An unsettling feeling rose inside him as he was rounding the corner. Suddenly he found himself face to face with a tall, dark-haired stranger. He stood next to Ophelia and Thorn immediately noticed that he was carrying her bag. What had he just walked into? His eyes flashed over to Ophelia and she immediately understood his silent question.

“Hello darling, may I introduce the newest addition to our teaching staff, professor Ben Welch.” She said smoothly and paused for a second, seemingly waiting for Thorn to take the initiative and introduce himself. He did no such thing.

“And this is my husband, professor Thorn York.” She continued and placed a small hand reassuringly on Thorn’s forearm. He reviled in the warmth of her skin that was seeping through his shirt for a moment before finally fixing the other man with his steal gaze. “Pleasure.” His voice dripped in ice and he knew that he was being irrationally distant. But he couldn’t help his hostility when he had just witnessed his wife conversing so carefree with a mere stranger. It would have bothered him significantly less if he had known the guy beforehand. But this way he had no clue about this man’s potential intentions towards Ophelia.

To Thorn’s surprise did the stranger nod in his direction with a friendly smile. He seemed to not take offense to Thorn’s frosty behavior. “Nice to meet you, professor York, I’ve heard good things about your research. Most of it from your wife of course but she doesn’t seem like the type to exaggerate for the sake of someone’s ego.” Ben’s voice was smooth and deep. It had an inherently friendly ring to it and Thorn couldn’t stop himself from comparing it to his own voice. Harsh, cold, uncomfortable to listen to at times.

He had been jealous enough times since knowing Ophelia to recognize the tell-tale signs. And he also knew that his jealousy was completely unwarranted. Ophelia had never given him any reason to doubt her feelings and commitment towards him. But he couldn’t keep his mind from going down that rabbit hole once in a while. He had never had high self-esteem so in his eyes he couldn’t see his own appeal. Almost everyone seemed to be better suited for Ophelia than him. Yet she had chosen him.

His wife’s warm hands on his back shook him out of his dark thoughts. She was now standing next to him and was rubbing light circles into his lower back. A gesture that had always given him great comfort, no matter how stressed. And it worked just as good now as it always had. He focused on the feeling of her fingers on him and took a deep breath through his nose. He resisted the urge to straighten his tie again.

“We were just on our way to the staff room. I showed Ben around a bit. You don’t have any lectures until after lunch, right?” Ophelia guided him while trying to make conversation. Thorn could sense that she wanted to end the awkward situation that he had created. Guilt clawed at his insides. Sometimes he was nothing more than a burden for her. She would have it so much easier if she didn’t have to constantly make sure he was ok. He just wished he could be more social.

As if sensing his thoughts, his wife stiffened next to him. She turned to Ben and motioned him with her free hand to walk ahead. “I just remembered that I have an administrational thing I need Thorn’s help with. We will join you in a bit.” She said sweetly but the white lie was obvious for everyone to see. Thorn and Ophelia worked in two different departments so her statement made absolutely no sense.

Mind still racing, he let himself get pulled towards his office. Finally, in a more private setting, he relaxed his tense posture a bit and allowed himself to tighten his tie.

“There is no reason for you to worry Thorn. I love you and you know that. I wish I could help you see how irreplaceable you are to me.” Ophelia’s voice was thick with emotion and Thorn could feel the effect of her tone on his own body. He loved her so much it hurt. He wanted to be there for her, protect her, be her rock. But he couldn’t. Not all the time at least. He was too weak, too inconvenient.

“I know.” He whispered, avoiding her eyes. His long fingers closed around the handle of his briefcase with new firmness. His knuckles stood out slightly whiter than the rest of his already incredibly pale skin from the force of his grip.

The light footsteps of his wife were the only sound in the room while she was slowly walking over to the little sofa he had in one corner of the office. It was mainly there for the times he had to spend the night at the office, correcting exams or working on his research. Even though he hardly used it to sleep on during those occasions. He preferred to simply not sleep if he had the option. Ophelia however was a bit stricter with him when it came to that matter, which was why she had pushed him to buy the sofa in the first place. Now she padded the space next to her in a silent invitation for him to join her.

Once he was seated, she took both of his large hands in her smaller ones, rubbing reassuring circles over the back of them like she always did. Her eyes were trained on their joined hands but he knew that she was occasionally peaking at his face out of the corner of her eyes. “Darling what can I do to help you? Talk to me, Thorn.” Her voice was slightly shaking and the resentment that he held for himself intensified. He was not supposed to make her feel like she needed to do anything. It was him. It had always been him.

“I don’t know.”

The silence in the room stretched uncomfortably but none of them dared to speak again. Eventually, Thorn felt Ophelia lean against his side, her nose slightly buried into his shoulder. They sat like this for a moment and he let himself enjoy the closeness.

“You are the most important thing in the world to me, Ophelia. I… I just don’t think I’m good for you.”

There, he said it. He had never voiced this particular part of his insecurities before. She knew that he didn’t find himself attractive but it went so much deeper than that. The resentment sat much much deeper.

“Nonsense!” The sudden and loud exclamation startled the blond and he instinctively pulled his hands free of Ophelia’s grip. “How can you say that you are not good for me. How dare you make that assumption. You are not allowed to decide what is good for me and what is not!” In moments like this Thorn almost forgot how soft-spoken his wife usually was. The passion she held for their relationship was granting her voice access to a volume she was never able to reach in other situations. “I love you, only you. I don’t care who would logistically be better suited for me. And I don’t know what else I could say for you to believe me. Are you… are you so unhappy with me?”

His eyes widened. How did she come to that ridiculous conclusion?

“No! I could never be unhappy with you. I simply feel like I’m the one making YOU unhappy by being such a burden all the time.” He confessed earnestly. All cards were on the table. There was no way out of this situation now. They had been married for well over five years but he had never admitted this particular aspect of his fears.

Ophelia was visibly deflating. She had seemed to have grown a few inches over the course of their conversation but now she looked tinier than ever. The ever-present desire to wrap her in his arms grew stronger.

“You think that... you think that you’re making me unhappy?” Her eyes were as large as saucers. She looked him directly in the eyes and Thorn had to summon all of his willpower to not look away from the clear love and pain that was reflected in her eyes. He had hurt her again, hadn’t he? He shouldn’t have said it.

Ophelia severed their connection by lowering her gaze to her hands, which she held clumsily in her lap. “You could never make me unhappy Thorn. Do you hear me? Never!” “But I make life so much more difficult for you. You are the one coaching me through most social situations, you are the one talking me into taking breaks and practically forcing me to eat at times. How can any of this not make you resent me at least a little bit? Don’t you see how much easier…” She didn’t let him finish. The small history professor had launched herself at her husband and shut him up by pressing their lips together forcefully. The kiss was rough and passionate. Nothing like the sweet kisses they sometimes shared when they were sure no one was watching. This was bordering on a mini make-out session.

Thorn ended up being the one to break off the kiss. His hands had wandered into her unruly hair in the process and he was using them now to softly pull her away. They locked eyes again and Ophelia leaned in once more, this time to rub their noses together for a brief moment.

“Don’t take it personally but sometimes you just need someone to shut you up.” She grinned and her eyes were sparkling with amusement. Thorn allowed himself a small smile as well, hers was just too infectious.

“To answer your questions, love. It doesn’t. Being around you, no matter how awkward and unreasonable you can be, is in any situation far better than not being around you. It’s as simple as that.” She raised a delicate hand to his cheek and let him nuzzle into her palm. Like one would with maybe a dog, she used her thumb to caress his chin, while the rest of her hand remained firmly pressed against his skin. Thorn managed to keep his eyes open to further look at her but it proved to be difficult considering the pleasant gesture. Had he been a cat, he would have started purring.

“Do you think you’re ready to go back to the staff room? Ben still has my bag.”

**Author's Note:**

> Might add another chapter but I wouldn't count on it 😅
> 
> The title is from the song "Out of Touch" by Daryl Hall and John Oates :)
> 
> You might have noticed that this is a slightly different approach to writing Thorn, I'm trying to get comfortable with him so I'm trying different ways of portraying his character. I could always use the excuse that it's a new AU so it's generally a new take on the characters but I just wanted to let y'all know that the change was intentional.  
> Hope you liked it anyway :)


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